Dating hell "Mosting": First interested and charming, now he just won't contact you anymore

Key takeaways:

• Mosting is a new trend in online dating where someone seems very interested and acts charming, but suddenly cuts off contact without giving an explanation.
• Other common trends in online dating include ghosting, where someone completely ignores you; orbiting, where someone continues to be active online but doesn't make contact; and breadcrumbing, where someone keeps sending little hints or messages but doesn't make a real connection.
• Mosting can be especially hurtful because the person involved may have gotten used to the relationship and then suddenly feel left alone.
• To protect yourself from mosting and other harmful trends in online dating, keep your expectations realistic, communicate openly and honestly, and don't get too involved with someone you don't know well enough. 
   

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Getting to know someone can be the greatest feeling in the world. A spark of emotion and that long-awaited butterflies in your stomach that come with every incoming message - that's what we all want. The other person also shows great interest, seems genuinely attracted to us, and everything points to the fact that we have found our dream partner. But then the getting-to-know-you process is abruptly cut short by our counterpart. Are we victims of Mosting - one of the current trends in online dating?

Online dating and its deceptive trends

The fact that online dating is a double-edged sword is something everyone should know. Signing up for a dating site is not synonymous with finding your soul mate in a short period of time. Finding the right person is no easy task anyway. To make matters worse, new trends in online dating seem to be popping up all the time, making the whole thing more complicated, hurtful, and ultimately, hopeless. Names like "ghosting" or "orbiting" or "breadcrumbing" sound pretty cool. But behind them are ugly dating trends where there is always a loser.

In this article, we'll take a quick look at some of the trends and then get to the most absurd dating trend of all - mosting.

• Ghosting - you no longer exist
• Orbiting - more illusion than reality
• Breadcrumbing - between breadcrumbs and hunger pangs

You may have fallen victim to one of these dating trends without even realizing it. Curious to know what kind of nasty online dating scams are out there? Here they are...

Ghosting - you no longer exist

One of the most popular dating trends is ghosting, where you completely disappear from the scene. Your messages are read, but not responded to. Two blue checkmarks, no response for weeks, but the person is online every day? Calls go unanswered and you start to feel like a ghost. Especially in the era of social media and dating apps, ghosting is becoming more common, leaving you perplexed. Without prior notice, the person you are dating cuts you off and never responds to any of your attempts to contact them.

What other nasty dating trend is being fed by Facebook and the like?

Orbiting - more illusion than reality

Orbiting is a real dating hell and can become pure torture. You meet someone, you chat with them on Messenger, and you are also friends on social media. Suddenly, one of these aspects changes and there's radio silence in private messages, while everything seems normal on social media. The person likes or even comments on your posts. Even if you send a direct message right after a comment, there is still no response. In other words, everything seems normal on the surface, but behind the scenes, you're being ghosted.

Breadcrumbing - between breadcrumbs and hunger pangs

In Breadcrumbing, someone never completely disappears from the scene, but at the same time becomes inaccessible. You get to know someone, you exchange ideas, and then you lose touch for a while. After a few weeks, you get a heart emoji or a sweet message. Full of euphoria, you reply immediately, saying that you are happy about the message and full of optimism. Chances are, the person was just busy and didn't have time to reply. And then the game repeats itself. Suddenly you lose contact and after weeks you get a little message again. You get little breadcrumbs at certain intervals to keep you happy. Your counterpart has no interest in you and only uses you from time to time to boost his own ego. Well, it seems to be possible with you...

If the previous dating trends made your jaw drop, we welcome you to the real dating hell.

Mosting - first charming and interested, then radio silence

Mosting is made up of "most" for "mostly" and the dating trend "ghosting". How do these two components go together? Simple, because with Mosting, your significant other starts by putting you on a pedestal. You are exactly the person he or she has been looking for. At least, that's how they act, complimenting you at every opportunity and showering you with attention.

You, on the other hand, may not have had any luck with online dating so far, so you are overwhelmed. So much interest, and from such a charming profile, that can only be a slam dunk. The butterflies start fluttering and every message brings a smile to your face. You return the affectionate messages, open up little by little and think you've hit the jackpot.

And then there's silence...

As soon as you reply, you fall into the trap and are ghosted overnight. Whereas yesterday you were exchanging compliments and joking about your shared apartment, today you are sitting in front of your smartphone, waiting in vain for a message alert.

Why mosting? Because it's becoming too serious!

People who engage in Mosting like the noncommittal flirting. By responding to messages, these people get an ego boost and feel validated. Maybe the other person actually finds you interesting and wants to write and fantasize with you. But as soon as it gets more intense, they panic.

It's entirely possible that this person suffers from commitment anxiety, and as soon as things get serious, he or she pulls away. But it is also possible that the only intention is to flirt and build a nice fantasy, but beyond that everything else seems uninteresting. It is also possible that this person wrote this type of message to several people at the same time and decided not to reply to you. Either way, you end up sitting alone on the couch wondering what you did wrong.

Who does mosting affect?

The victims of mosting are mostly men and women who have been single for a long time. They are much more receptive to messages in which they receive compliments and respond to them more quickly. Admittedly, it's usually men who promise women the moon and then suddenly take off.

How to spot this dating trend and protect yourself

Do you want to avoid ending up in dating hell and want to know if you can spot Mosting?

Sure, because as mentioned before, it starts with the compliments. After just a few messages, you'll receive so much affection that it's almost unbearable. How likely is it that online dating will bring love at first sight into play? So if you receive a flood of compliments from a contact, be careful.

How can you protect yourself?

To avoid falling into the trap in the first place, don't rush into anything. As sweet as the messages are - enjoy them with some caution. Be honest and mention that you cannot open up right away and that you need some time to do so. You will be able to tell if there is real interest based on their reaction. Only those who flirt without hesitation could end up being victims of mosting.

In summary

First ghosting, then orbiting, and now mosting. Online dating and its trends can turn into a real obstacle course for all seekers. Once you've fallen victim to mosting, you're like a branded child and won't be opening up again anytime soon. As nice as it is to be put on a pedestal and receive compliments from the start, it's better to be safe than sorry and may save you from ending up with question marks and heartbreak.

That's why it's important not to take a crowbar approach to online dating and to give it time. Take things slowly and carefully examine the other person's intentions.